Have you ever been in the awkward position of realising you have sent an email to the wrong person?!
According to Murphy’s Law, it only ever seems to happen when you are in fact dissing the person that it accidentally gets sent to.
I can’t think of any memorable examples where I’ve sent email to the wrong person, but I’ve certainly been on the RECEIVING end … and I can tell you, it is almost as embarrassing and painful for the person who receives it as the one who sends it!
Hacked to Pieces
Several years ago I was the editor of a not-for-profit magazine.
I was a volunteer, working on the publication in my free time; as were all our contributors.
You know how the saying goes: when you pay peanuts … ? Well try paying nothing! Needless to say, some of the submissions needed quite a bit of work to pull them into shape 😉 .
I was passionate about giving our readers the best magazine possible, despite limited budgets and time frames, so there were times when I edited articles without necessarily giving much thought to the contributor’s reaction. In an ideal world, yes, I should have sent every piece back to the author and asked them to make the relevant changes, but knew from experience that often they never came back – and I still had a magazine to fill. It was way quicker and easier to do it myself.
This one time, I sent the revised piece back to the author for her approval as a courtesy …
Now, this doesn’t excuse me, but it does give you some background into what happened next.
You guessed it!
It was very hard to learn that the author was very unhappy with the way I had “hacked” her piece – so much so that she found it virtually unrecognisable. It was probably particularly difficult for me to read, as IÂ knew there was more than an element of truth in it …
Yet despite all that, I felt REALLY sorry for the author and cringed at the thought of her embarrassment when she realised what she had done! She apologised profusely, and I was able to accept that apology more or less graciously – after all next time it could be ME making the mistake.
A Lesson from the Ostrich and the Snail
Last year it happened again and I found out that the other person thought I was “a bit cheeky”! It hurt, but I just ignored it and the sender never mentioned it to me, so I don’t even know if they realised that they had emailed the wrong person. But I do know that it has made me a little more cautious – both around that person (now I know what they REALLY think) – and whenever I go to hit that “send” button myself!
So here’s my advice if you’ve sent an email to the wrong person:
1 – Be an ostrich. Ignore it and hope nothing comes of it – because as my example above shows, sometimes the recipient is just as embarrassed and doesn’t want to say anything.
2 – Be a snail. If it does blow up, crawl. Make a genuine apology, in person (NOT by email), if at all possible.
Have you ever accidentally sent an email to the wrong person?! How did you handle it?
Linking with Essentially Jess for IBOT.
Bec Senyard says
Yes, I have sent an email to the wrong person and have immediately emailed them to let them know of my mistake if I’ve been aware of it after I’ve sent it. Usually I head to my sent folder to see if the email has been sent, hence how I can tell if the email has been sent to the right person. Thankfully the emails I’ve sent haven’t required me to apologize.
Janet Camilleri says
Whew, that’s a relief!!!
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
LOL. I can’t recall. I’m sure it happens. I usually double check the name in the box especially on business emails where I am writing to my husband in wife tones and I have recently been dealing with someone of the same first name. So when I type in my hubbies first name in the “to” section the other guys email comes up first. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be?
Janet Camilleri says
It’s so easy to make a mistake! We should be double, triple, even quadruple checking our emails!
Ingrid @ Fabulous and Fun Life says
I’m sure this will happen to me one day. I’ve been blissfully unaware if I have actually already made this mistake. It’s good to know what strategy to take in future if I do accidentally do this. It sounds like a mistake I could easily make unfortunately!
Janet Camilleri says
Me too Ingrid. I know I’ve accidentally hit “reply all” instead of just “reply” but luckily the contents of the email weren’t damming!
Min@WriteoftheMiddle says
Yes I have done this *gulp*. I have also Facebook messaged the wrong person (that was recent and VERY awkward)!!
Janet Camilleri says
Oh dear! On the upside – is there a blog post in that?!
Emily M Morgan says
I haven’t done this – yet!!! – but I have to say that contributors need to understand that their work may be edited. That’s part of the game. Still, as volunteers you do have to tread a diplomatic line. Good post!
Janet Camilleri says
As an editor, I came across quite a few writers who were VERY precious with their work … it could be a tad frustrating …
Liz Posmyk says
Lordy, email is such a tricky thing sometimes. I used to send out All Staff emails to an entire government department with 1,200 staff, maybe more… fortunately for me I didn’t ever get it wrong… but I do seem to recall someone else in a much higher position sending out one of those absolutely cringeworthy pieces…
Denise says
I thought I was on a different FB message last week, and made an unkind remark about a third person’s choice in names for her new baby boy (we are throwing her a shower). I sucked it up and apologized immediately and she graciously forgave me just as fast. I felt so bad and I’ll always remember how she let me off the hook.
Alix @ thebuilderette says
Yep, I’ve done it. To a celeb’s lawyer regarding their fee. Whoops! Thankfully, I was frank but generous in the email that was intended for my boss. The lawyer thanked me for my open-ness and honesty and we all moved on. I did have a moment or two of stomach churning horror though. It’s the worst!!
HUgzilla says
Yep – I emailed my partner to say that I was taking him out on a date etc etc with this long itinerary of things (thankfully all PG!) and sent it to the wrong guy! Same name, but I missed a dot between the name and the surname. LOL!
Janet Camilleri says
At least it was PG!
Cathy@lifethroughthehaze says
Janet
I must admit when I started reading “Several years ago I was the editor of a not-for-profit magazine.
I was a volunteer, working on the publication in my free time; as were all our contributors.”
I had to check who you were and if by chance you had twins. I actually thought you were me and I wrote this in my sleep without realising!
That is exactly how I would start a story only I was the editor and contributor and my proofreader thought it was her place alone to hack to death my content. Even content that I hadn’t written! Seriously though it was extremely evident that she had an issue with the way I wrote/write. We did a sneaky experiment and I sent a document through and a friend of mine send the exact same document through. My one came up with close to 50 changes in an 800 word piece the one my friend send came back with 4 changes (none of which were in the document that was sent back to me!) Anyway, long story short I lost it via email to my friend and whoops the other person was in the chain. It set off WW3 I had to apologise, which I would have anyway. It was awful. I had nothing in common with the person in question I was prepared to have a working relationship (she was meant to report to me lol) but it was untenable. I kid you not she cried to our chairperson that I wouldn’t be friends with her on fb! The first act of defiance I took the day I stepped off the board was to unfriend her!
Ahhhhhh I check every email carefully now.
Cathy xo
Janet Camilleri says
Wow there are some lowlifes in the world, talk about a personal vendetta. My redundancy was thanks to somebody like that.
KezUnprepared says
That is a big fear of mine. I once snap chatted the wrong person. It was just a silly video and I messaged her to say it was just a funny thing between me and another friend so it probably didn’t make sense. Thank goodness it wasn’t anything dodgy! She messaged back with a laugh and made a joke – phew!
When I write emails, I always leave the recipient off until I’ve finished writing them. Then I know I can’t easily accidentally send it to the wrong person and have time to proof read and finish it nicely (maybe even adding some extra tact) before hitting send. It helps me to stop and think before sending.
I think that if I was the accidental recipient, the truth about what someone thought might really hurt me, but I would feel more sorry for the person who sent it to me and ultimately grateful that I knew the truth.
Janet Camilleri says
Yep that’s pretty much how I felt Kez x
Bec @ Seeing the Lighter Side says
Ha ha, as someone who edits other people’s work on a daily basis and gleefully ‘hacks’ the bejeezus out of them, I can relate! Having said that, I work in a team where we hack each other’s work all the time – it always ends up much better for it. It also helps because I’m generally very un-precious about my own work now. #TeamIBOT
Janet Camilleri says
You’re so right Bec – a bit of hacking never does any harm I think. I can’t remember being offended over somebody hacking my work before. I might not agree with their edits but I didn’t get offended!
Tegan says
I haven’t sent an email to the wrong person but I have sent a text to the wrong person. Thankfully it was a flattering text about them so it wasn’t too awkward. It makes me triple check the recipient now though!
Renee Wilson says
Yes, I emailed the wrong person at work once and it was not nice at all. I didn’t say anything derogatory, but it was seeking advice from someone else on the advice the person in question gave me. Total awks.
Janet Camilleri says
Ouch!
jo says
Oh gosh, yes! I’ve done this a couple of times and maybe more that I don’t know about. I’m useless – I hit the SEND with gay abandon and live to regret it. When we lived in the Philippines and I first had a mobile phone, I once phoned my husband and because he didn’t pick up I left him a saucy message. A strange man rang me back a bit later, and said that although he had enjoyed my message very much, he wondered if perhaps I’d sent it to the wrong person 😉 Oops!
Janet Camilleri says
Oh too funny Jo!
coco says
YES!!! Emailed people with similar names, because of stupid try-to-be-so-smart-and-helpful auto-match thingie. Lucky nothing embarrassing was said in the emails.
Janet Camilleri says
I hate that auto correct and predictive text too!
Kathy says
Awkward. Communication was so much simpler when we picked up the phone. Has happened to me at work, hitting ‘reply to all’ rather than ‘reply’ and then feeling bad/embarrassed. But it did clear the air.
Janet Camilleri says
Hmmm, as a phone phobic I prefer email, I’ll take the risk of replying to the wrong person any day!