I’ve talked about my “mother issues” here on the blog a number of times – how we were estranged for many years, how I hated Mother’s Day, etc.
It might have given the wrong impression, so I just wanted to let you know: I’m okay.
Yes, I did go through a lot as a youngster, and I carry some emotional scars.
However I wanted to clear something up, as I often get comments expressing sympathy and sorrow for what I have endured.
Although I carry emotional scars, I Must Confess: I’m no longer suffering or in pain π .
Let me explain with a couple of examples.
Can you see the scar on my index finger? I must have been about three years old when my finger got caught as my sister’s pram was being folded up. (Yes, the one in the picture at the top. That pram bites! Literally!). I still remember it!
Nearly 50 years later, the scar is still there. I still remember the incident, but it doesn’t hurt anymore or even make me wince.
Or how about this scar on my ankle (below)? I came off a bike when I was 20; it got quite infected and nasty before it healed up (because every time I walked, it broke open again). It was incredibly painful at the time, and an oozing mess, but nowadays – it’s there, but it doesn’t feel any different. It is just a part of who I am.
And that’s how it is with my emotional scars.
The wounds have healed up, and now they are just scars. I know they are there, but they don’t hurt any more. They are just a part of who I am today; it is part of my story which is why they sometimes crop up in my posts here on the blog.
It is my heartfelt wish that anybody who has been through mental, physical and emotional abuse like I have, will also find that the wounds eventually heal, and just scars are left.
Linking up with My Home Truths.
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
This is a great way to express it!
And what a lovely foot you have … my feet are UGLY!
Janet Camilleri says
Thanks Leanne – and LOL, do any of us have attractive feet?! When you think about it they are ALL pretty weird looking!
Ness says
What a cutie you were!
You always seem so positive and focused on the present and the future. I’m glad you’ve been able to heal and are at peace with your scars. xo
Janet Camilleri says
Thanks Ness, yup that sounds like me π
JF Gibson says
Perfect way to explain our emotional pain and scars. We all have them, in various stages of repair. Beautiful post. xx
Janet Camilleri says
Thank you so much Jodi. I loved the quote you shared on Facebook yesterday, it summed it all up beautifully x
Toni {Finding Myself Young} says
I love this analogy. I have quite a few emotional scars too.
Janet Camilleri says
Hi Toni, sadly, there are far too many of us carrying them around. Still, we make sure it doesn’t get passed on to the next generation! x
Deb Stengert says
The greatest victory is not allowing the future to be defined by the injustice of the past. You are more than just a survivor Janet because when you look at your gorgeous kids you know in your heart you defeated the past…..you win and your kids win and their kids also ! You have redefined not only the present but the possibilities for the future.
Janet Camilleri says
I am so glad the cycle stops with me, and I have a fantastic hubster who has supported me through my healing journey x
tory says
I love this! what a great way of putting it.
Janet Camilleri says
Thanks Tory! It’s funny the random thoughts that come to you when you are sitting quietly outside having a cup of tea π
Kirsty @ My Home Truths says
Wonderful, positive and warm post Janet. I have wondered how you are really feeling deep down, given everything you have gone through, and I’m 69so pleased and relieved to read this x
Janet Camilleri says
Hi Kirsty, it felt like I’d been harping on about it a bit lately so just wanted to make sure I wasn’t giving the wrong impression! x
Denise says
Thanks for this! I think scars from our moms are especially difficult to heal, even the ones they didn’t mean to inflict.
Janet Camilleri says
I know right. I hope I haven’t done too much damage to my own children!!!!
Raychael Case says
Great post. I think my scars are still a little too raw both the physical and the emotional but give it time and I’ll hopefully be where you are right now.
Janet Camilleri says
I hope your healing goes quickly and smoothly Raych x