Well y’all seemed to like it last week when I bared my soul and shared some of my epic parenting fails … so here’s another one for you, that’s perhaps even worse!
It was the September school holidays and my kids were in Years 3 and 1, when my son got chicken pox.
No sooner was he back to full health than my daughter came down with it. The day she went back to school, the hubster got it, and it was NOT pretty. Both the kids had fairly mild doses, but the hubster was really sick (and not just in a man flu kind of way either, though he does have that down pat!).
The kids both seemed to take a while to pick up from the chicken pox. Miss 6 in particular, was very tired and run down. I just put it down to the after effects of the chicken pox, and nearing the end of a big school year … once we got to the school holidays, she’d be able to rest and her health and energy levels would pick up again.
Wrong.
On Christmas Day, my sister (who is a nurse) took one look at my little girl and told me that she thought I should get her to the doctor as soon as the public holidays were over, as Miss 6 just didn’t look right to her.
I trusted her expert opinion so off to the doctor we trotted … only to discover when the blood tests came back, that my poor little girl had glandular fever. And not only that, it was such a bad case she had liver damage.
How awful did I feel! That was the Bad Mummy moment to end all bad mummy moments. How could I not have realised that my girl was really sick? What sort of a Mummy was I anyway? Why didn’t I take her to the doctor earlier? BAD MUMMY!
I look at photos of my girl from that Christmas and NOW I can see it for myself – her eyes are glazed, and it’s true, she just doesn’t look right (she was always very thin, so that wasn’t a symptom!). But why couldn’t I see it at the time?!
I remember having glandular fever myself, but I was 16, not 6. It played havoc with Year 12 as I missed a lot of time off school. Surely I should have known better when I saw my baby exhibiting the same symptoms?
Glandular fever is a bit like depression – it’s gradual and sneaky. By the time you actually feel sick, and not just tired, you are REALLY sick.
The Good News
- Children’s livers repair themselves remarkably quickly.
- When my son began displaying the same symptoms, we got him diagnosed straight away, no mucking around!
- Even if my girl HAD been diagnosed earlier, there is no treatment except for rest and paracetamol for pain.
- At least my kids won’t get it later in life, when it can seriously mess up your schooling, or your job etc!
What’s YOUR worst bad mummy moment?!
Joining up with Jess and the gang as always, for I Blog On Tuesdays (IBOT)!
Trish says
You couldn’t have known but it still makes you feel bad.
Janet says
Yes, I was heartbroken – thankfully she made a full recovery in time!
Min says
Kids are sick so often when they are little. I probably would have missed it also!! One bad parenting moment I remember was that I was working full time and had taken time off (a few days) with a sick child and finally returned to working when another child – Twin2 – said he had a pain in his tummy. I couldn’t take MORE time off work so I took him to my mother in law’s to stay for the day. I phoned from work through the day and my mother in law told me he hadn’t moved from the lounge all day and was still complaining of pain in his tummy. I came home from work, collected him and took him to the doctor. We ended up having to rush him to hospital. Appendicitis!! He was operated on at 11pm that night. I felt dreadful!!! Min xo
Janet says
It is SO HARD to determine if it is a case of the boy who cried wolf, especially when keeping a child home from school means time off work. I know a couple of times I went to work only to get the phone call from the school a couple of hours later … BAD MUMMY!!!!
Eleise says
Awww, that is so hard, I don’t think that it is a parenting fail though, sometimes it is hard to see through the fog but an outsider can easily pick it up. My big fail was when I was a nanny and my little girl had a itchy head only ever at dinner for a couple of weeks. We thought it was yet another delay tactic for eating but it turned out she had nits.
Janet says
Ah yes, we’ve been through the nit stage – and it IS easy to miss! Little blighters (the nits, not the kids)!
Me says
Forgetting to feed my child when A was working away from home and I told her to go to bed and very quietly she said “Mom could I please have some dinner first”. When we drove up to see A a few weeks later, she proceeded to tell the story, very loudly, at the local hotel dinner table where everyone was sitting on Friday night !!!!!
Have the best day and glad it all worked out well.
Me
Janet says
Ooops! And then telling everybody about it – oh the shame!
Becc says
We probably all would have done the same.
I found out I had glandular fever way, way, way after the fact. I guess being sick was something I was so used to that I didn’t even notice it!
I did not know Glandular Fever could affect your liver. I learned something today 🙂
Becc @ Take Charge Now
Janet says
Well I used to be a teacher, so I’m glad to know I’m still teaching 😉
Loz says
Oh it is hard! some days you need a crystal ball with kids health! My little one had an ear infection, I was none the wiser.. only that she wanted a few more hugs. Resilient for sure. I had glandular fever at school too, the pits!
Here is to some better health!
Janet says
Oh yes – I’ve done this too – had NO IDEA our son had ear infections as a bub. Only found it when we discovered he had glue ear, years later!
Rhianna says
Oh gosh lovely, love that you found some bright side to it. I think my worst mummy moment was when Miss 6 was about 2-3 and fell off a ledge at the self serve checkout. I just bundled her up and left, embarrassed because she shouldn’t have been placed where she was. It was quite a few minutes before I became aware of the blood oozing from her head
Janet says
Ooops! Miss 16 fell off one step as an 11 month old and her front tooth died – went all black – then fell out when she was only 3 – another bad mummy moment. Gosh I’m remembering lots now – what have I started!
Josefa @always Josefa says
Oh Janet this is terrible! Go easy on yourself, maybe not so much as a bad mummy moment, more of a mummy oversight. You acted pronto the moment you thought something could be wrong and in all reality that is all that is ever expected of a mummy. I have a recent “mummy oversight” last week totally forgot about kinda photos and since they don’t wear a uniform, his thrown together outfit was terrible – didn’t even brush his hair! oh well – we can always laugh about it right?
Josefa from #teamIBOT xx
Janet says
Thanks Josefa – I’m sure you will all giggle over that particular photo in years to come!
Emily @ Have a laugh on me says
I hate to say it J but I didn’t pick that she looked bad at all (bad mummy) I have a bad daddy moment really – my daughter, 15 month at time, had her leg bend back a bit whilst hubby was pushing on swing. Anyhow – she screamed, and once off could hardly walk – I knew something was wrong because she kept falling over, my hubby thought she was just a bit ‘off’ – I disagreed and after 1 hour of it I took her to get x-ray (but i was pregnant so he had to go in) and she had fracture in leg! Sometimes we are blind to what is right in front of us, it doesn’t make us any less of a parent. Gotta say I’m a little bit excited about meeting IRL in a few weeks! – Em xx
Janet says
Whew, I feel better now Em. Yes I’m getting excited too – so glad you’re in!!!!
Bachelormum says
Oh you poor thing you probably look at that pick and feel terrible. We aren’t doctors and most of us are so busy running around trying to keep everything good together that we don’t think about illnesses until they spew on our feet if u will excuse the expression. You are a great mum I’m sure. x
Janet says
Thanks Bachelormum, you’re sweet xxx
EssentiallyJess says
Oh wow Janet that’s crazy!!
Who would have guessed?
I’ve heard chicken pox is worse the older you are. I got it at 12 and it was awful!!!
Worst parenting moment? Whilst tidying up a mess and mentally condemning other children for not listening to their parents, the TV fell on my two year old. Pride does come before a fall they say!
Janet says
Ouch!!!
You know I don’t remember if I had chicken pox but as I didn’t get it when the others did, I guess I must have. Unfortunately my mum has passed away so I can’t ask her, and dads just don’t seem to remember this sort of stuff!
Lydia C. Lee says
My dr is all about ‘mother’s instinct’ which I point out is why I pay to see the guy with a medical degree – I don’t have it. If it makes you feel better, I took my then 3 year old to get his ears checked, as he had a slight temperature and thought it might be an earache about to return, and he was rushed to hospital with an asthma attack (in my defence, I don’t get asthma and thought it involved wheezing but apparently not in young children…go figure). Even as they were all flipping out, I still couldn’t see what they were talking about….
Janet says
I don’t know that I’d recognise an asthma attack either Lydia!
Liz says
Hi Janet,
Again, thanks for your honesty, and ‘realness’. Us mummies need to be real to one another… I had a similar scenario to yours. It was with my daughter when she was about 1. She had a nasty cough – every where I went people would comment on the obvious – “That’s a nasty cough” !!! Like you, it was my dear sister (not a nurse, but an experienced mum), who suggested we need to get to the doctor. In the end, it was almost pneumonia. And still, at 5, she gets asthma and ‘nasty coughs’ from autumn through to spring. We live and learn as mummies, and endure the (self-imposed) guilt along the way, hey?
Janet says
Oh I know that “nasty cough” well – Miss 16 used to get it every Winter too when she was little!
Us mummies aren’t perfect, but we do our best for our kids and are motivated by love, which is all anybody could wish for!
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
Oh Janet, we’ve all done it. I think because they can go downhill so quickly, all of a sudden they’re sick and we’re not expecting it.
You can push yourself too far the other way, and have them at the Dr every time they sneeze!
You’re not a bad mummy, just a normal one. xx
Janet says
Thanks Lisa xxx
Bron from Flat Bum Mum says
Not so bad! At least she is still alive. It’s hard to admit that we missed something though isn’t it? My girls had Scarlett Fever in kinder and I was the same “they’ll be fine, probably just a rash” um, no! Scarlett freaking fever!!!
Janet Camilleri says
There are so many little aches and pains and rashes and temperatures with kids, it’s tough to know when it is actually something serious!