Would you like to rekindle the romance in your relationship – and not just for Valentine’s Day?!
Sometimes life gets so busy we forget to nurture the most important relationship of all: the one with our partner.
Every now and then it’s good to shut out the children outside world, spend some quality time together, and remember why you got together in the first place! After all, children grow up and then it’s back to being just you two …
The hubster and I have been together for over 26 years, married for nearly 24. We know what it’s like to lose sight of the romance in your relationship, but we also know it’s worth rekindling on a regular basis!
Here are some of our top tips:
1. Rekindle the romance with a walk down memory lane
Remember your first date? First kiss?! Why not go back there and see if that helps to rekindle the romance?!
The hubster and I met when we worked in the same government department in the City (Brisbane); our first date was simply stopping for an ice cream after work in Rowes Arcade in Edward Street. Over the years we’ve gone back there a few times, and have marvelled together at the road we have travelled since then!
2. Stare into each other’s eyes
It sounds really lame, and you’ll probably burst out laughing when you first try it – it just feels so weird! But again, remember those early days – I’ll bet you spent hours just gazing into each other’s eyes. Once the giggles have settled down, it’s an amazing way to really connect with each other once again!
3. Find the Fun in Life
Do fun things together! Watch silly movies, go for a coffee, a motorbike ride, a bushwalk, a trip to the beach – just the two of you. We’ve been doing it more and more now our kids are older and it not only helps rekindle the romance, we really relax. For some reason, when you’re at home, there are always so many things that need doing – that’s why it’s great to get away from home for a while …
4. Gotta Getaway
Yeah yeah yeah, we’ve all heard it so many times – leave the kids behind (even if they are 19 and 17 like ours!) and head off for a a couple of days.
We’ve done it maybe all of 5 times in 24 years of marriage due to lack of finances and babysitters BUT it is soooo worth it when you do.
For our 20th wedding anniversary, we stayed down the Gold Coast for four nights during the week – much cheaper than a weekend. And, having done a couple of weekend or overnight trips, I can say that this was FAR superior. We actually had time to really relax and enjoy each other’s company. We say it was our “second honeymoon” – and can I just say it was heaps better than the first ๐
5. The Value of a QNAH
So you can’t always get away, but you can still regularly schedule a QNAH (a “Quiet Night at Home”). It doesn’t have to be every week, but try to regularly set aside time for a QNAH. Put the kids to bed – or if they’re older, like ours, forget about the washing upย etc (believe me, it will still be there in the morning!) – retire to your room early, turn your mobiles off and spend some quality time together.
I read somewhere recently that a third of all marriages fail AFTER the twenty year point. What! Just when you’re seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! But if you take the time to nurture your relationship, hopefully you WON’T end up as one of these statistics.
What are your tips to rekindle the romance?
Ms_MotorbikeNut says
In one small way this is where divorced parents who have access to their kids have it a little bit easy, on the week our daughter A is with us it’s all about family and on the week she is with her mum it’s about just my husband & me.
I hear & see so many parents whinge about their kid(s) being with the ex or the ex doesn’t pay something when the kid(s) are with the ex & they (the parent) could be using that time to connect with just themselves or connect with new partners they have.
As you said it’s so important for partners to connect even if they have the kids full time & this is where when the kids are at school it’s really good you can connect (this also applies if you both work) by trying to have lunch together during your lunch breaks.
Wake up an hour or even half hour before you have to get the kids up or before your normal time of getting up just to spend time together.
There are so many ways & things parents both married & divorced ones (with new partners) can connect without having their kid(s) around all the time
(((( Hugs ))))
Pinky Poinker says
Great advice Janet. Staring into each others eyes is a super romantic idea. I hope you and hubby have a wonderful Valentine’s Day ๐
Kathy Marris says
They are all very good tips Janet. I believe a good marriage is based on a lot of tolerance and being considerate of one another. Just as important as spending quality time together, I think you also need to spend time apart to pursue your own interests. This always gives you something to talk about when you get together again.
Rita @ The Crafty Expat says
Great advices Janet! I love the first one! I’m the one who always asks couples how they met. I love seeing the little light shining in their eyes when they recall these memories!
Grace says
Ah, yes! The challenges of keep that spark alive. A big one for us is laughter. When we crack each other up it’s always followed by a soppy “I loves you”
Janet Camilleri says
Yes! I love that my hubster still makes me laugh every day ๐