I’ve been doing some research lately on the signs of a midlife crisis, because I want to know if – or when – it happens to me!
Traditionally, men in their forties are the ones that fall victim, but I think it’s fair to say that these days women may also find themselves showing signs of a midlife crisis.
According to psychologist Matthew Ryan, midlife can be a time of disillusionment – when the dreams and fantasies of youth are often revealed to be exactly that.
In midlife, we realise that they are never going to happen (boo hoo, I’m never going to be a fashion designer or a super model!) – or perhaps they have happened, but didn’t turn out to be quite as great as we expected.
We begin to ask ourselves the tough questions, like:
- What have I achieved in my life?
- What is the point of it all?
- What next?
- Where to from here?
My Midlife Crisis
Although I’ve been in the right age range for several years now, I think what catapulted me into a midlife crisis of sorts was when my job was made redundant a couple of years ago. I was 45.
I’d spent years in that workplace, and until that point had fully expected to stay there until I retired. Although I wasn’t wildly enthusiastic, I was happy with the status quo. I’d invested a lot of my life there. And suddenly, all that I’d felt I’d achieved, all that I’d taken pride in, seemed meaningless.
What was the point (apart from bringing home a pay packet)?
What next, and where to from here?
A Midlife Crisis can lead to Drastic Changes
One of the key signs of a midlife crisis is that it usually leads to some drastic changes or upheavals.
In my case, it was kind of forced on me. But at the same time I asked myself the hard questions, and realised that it was time to do things differently.
I realised that I had at least another 20 years in the workforce, so I wanted to do something I enjoyed. Something that I found meaningful, as well as being a way to pay the bills.
So I started my own business. I cannot BEGIN to tell you how different it is to work for yourself after working for a large organisation! Lots of positives; but lots of drawbacks too. What a huge learning curve!
Other people make different changes.
I’ve heard recently of one woman who left her husband, bought a motorbike and got a new guy.
Another – like me – found a whole new career.
Others decide that it is finally time to make travel a priority, while they are still young and fit enough to enjoy it! (I think I need to add this one to my list!)
The Man in My Life
So what about the man in my life – the hubster. Has he had a midlife crisis?
I always thought he had his midlife crisis a bit early. In 2001 – when he was 33 – at his instigation, we packed up all our worldly goods, bought a caravan, and travelled around Australia with our two kids. I figured that would be it. Midlife crisis done and dusted. Whew. Glad he got that out of his system.
But now he’s 45 (yes, I’m a cradle-snatcher).
And currently on long service leave, which is giving him a chance to ask himself a lot of deep questions.
Buckle up folks, this could be a bumpy ride …
What about you? Any signs of a midlife crisis (yet)?!
Mumabulous says
Wow – I can only imagine how being made redundant shock you up but congratulations on starting your own business. As my husband runs his own business I understand just how difficult it is. I hope my mid-life crisis was done and dusted in my early 30s. For me things have worked out way better than I imagined they would back then.
I hope that your hubby manages to have some fun on his LSL – he has earned it π
Aroha @ Colours of Sunset says
I don’t know about midlife crises but I definitely am at the “what is it all for? what is it all about? what is the point? what am I doing with (what’s left) of my life?! is this it!??!!?” So far I haven’t really made any changes though – apart from going back to uni, and I don’t think that constitutes a crisis (though ask me again when grades come back at the end of semester!). I do dream of making drastic changes, but would never actually do them. x Aroha (for #teamIBOT)
Janet Camilleri says
Going back to uni is a pretty huge change I reckon! The cliche is changing your look/man/car but it can be more subtle (and worthwhile) things like what you are doing π
JM Peace says
I think I’m in the middle of a mid-life crisis. Or at least at crossroads.Have given up on ever becoming a professional surfer π So I was happy to read about your business success. Good on you for taking the plunge!
Lizzy - Muddle-Headed Mamma says
well judging by the criteria, I think I’m going through a midlife crisis right now! Lol Good on you for taking the plunge and starting your own business after the shock of being made redundant. I think a midlife ‘crisis’ can be a good thing though, if it propels people into a new direction or adventure π Now I’m off to read this post about you being a cradle-snatcher! xx
Tegan says
None for me yet (still a few years away lol) …but a few people have asked if I was Paul’s midlife crisis. Paul was a bit of a man whore when I met him because he hadn’t been single in 27 years so he was living the high life of a bachelor. I think I was more the calming of the crisis (although the first few years of our relationship were pretty rocky) because he is definitely not the party animal I first met 6.5 years ago lol!
Janet Camilleri says
You are definitely a good influence on him Tegan π
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
I have to say, I haven’t thought about a midlife crisis, think I’m having too much fun! π
Janet Camilleri says
Y’know, if it weren’t for the redundancy, I would probably be the same Lisa. Lucky people indeed to not have that midlife angst!
EssentiallyJess says
Oh good luck! Who knows what he will do! π
I think I’ve already had about 3 midlife crises. I seem to be asking these questions all the time!!!
Janet Camilleri says
If you’re not in midlife, I’m reliably informed by the psychologists I work with that it’s called an “existential crisis” … whatever!!!
Bec @ The Plumbette says
I think the last 6 months have been a bit of a crisis for me but only because of new changes that came unexpectedly in my life. I’m excited to see what happens after bub comes in July.
Janet Camilleri says
Can I just say: having a bub is pretty huge!!!! Don’t worry about other stuff, plenty of time for that! xxx
Kathy Marris says
I can identify with losing a job when I had just turned fifty. I had the biggest mid life crisis and questioned my self worth. Thankfully I got myself back on track and I’m now enjoying the fruits of middle age on this trip of a lifetime!