So it’s official – our baby has turned 21, and we now have two bona fide, genuine, dinky di, grown up kids.
Which brings me to my current question: what do you do about Christmas presents for adult children?
We’ve previously wondered if our kids were too old for Easter eggs, and ended up deciding that a little treat is still a good idea (even if Mr 23 pooh-poohs it and says he’d rather have the money, what’s $5 really in the scheme of things?).
But what about Christmas? Do you give your adult kids a little, or a lot? How much do you spend per child? One big present, or lots of silly little things? Is cash or a gift card a better idea?
The Case Against Christmas Gifts for Grown Kids
We are leaning towards the idea of giving our kids cash or gift cards for Christmas (and birthdays too) now that they are all grown up. It just makes more sense (cents!) for a number of reasons:
- Every year that goes by, it gets harder and harder to work out exactly what our kidults would like to receive.
- And with them both working and earning their own money, if they really want something, they are likely to buy it themselves anyway – and long before Christmas!
- Just because *I* like something, doesn’t necessarily mean that *they* will (or that it will fit, or … ) .
- It’s further complicated as we don’t know what they may already have, particularly in the case of Miss 21 who has left the nest.
- I don’t want to waste money on something that they don’t really want, love, or need, only for it to sit in a cupboard for a year or two before eventually being donated to the op shop … so cash, or a gift voucher, seems like a darned good idea to me. I know that when I was their age, I personally loved (needed!) the money …
- Not to mention the fact that I hate all the Christmas hype and pressure to spend, spend, and spend some more!
- It takes a lot of time and energy to source, buy and wrap all those presents!
The Case For Christmas Gifts …
But am I just trying to justify the fact that I am a bit lazy and slack when it comes to Christmas?!
I can’t help thinking it would be sad not to have SOMETHING to open up on Christmas Day. In the case of Miss 21, I’m sure she will be spoiled by her boyfriend, but what about Mr 23 who is single?
And how bare would the tree look, without lots of pressies underneath?
It’s a dilemma to be sure, which is why I’m seeking your advice and experiences …
Do you do Christmas presents for your adult children?
Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond says
As our children (on both sides) are now fully adults with children we have changed our gift giving. We spend the day with my daughter and her husband, my grandson, son and his partner and SIL family. We do a secret santa so only one gift. For the four grandchildren we have our combined get together a week before Christmas with Mike’s kids and mine and the grandchildren. We put money into the Grandkids bank account and then fill Santa sacks with lots of little goodies all individually wrapped. I have to admit it is hard when the children get older and there aren’t any little ones around but you have that to look forward to in the future.
Janet Camilleri says
LOl I don’t mind at all Sue, I hate Christmas shopping!
Denyse Whelan says
I remember this becoming a dilemma too and in the end we did a few different things. Gift cards & money mostly. But we have our kids’ kids (aka the grandkids) presents as that was easy! After a while when we still got together for Christmas back in Sydney we tried Kris Kringle one year but dropped it. And because we became poorer ( thanks retirement income) we dropped any gifts to our kids and we have now settled on a $50 deposit into each grandchild’s bank account at Christmas. It seems like a cop-out but I could never buy anything they might want for $50 and with ages from almost 21 to 2 this has been the most practical idea. We also give our grown kids nothing for their birthdays (and they are the same with us) but the grandkids get $50 then too. We may have to review that down soon as it is $800 annually for 8 gkids. A big hole in our savings! But when we were working I did indulge our kids and can remember (to my shame!) spending $500 on a remote control car for our then older teen son!
Janet Camilleri says
Thanks Denyse, this is something to bear in mind for the future x
leanne says
Our kids are 28 and 31 – since their early 20’s they’ve preferred cash or given us a request for something specific that we’ve then bought for them. Both have mortgages so cash is always appreciated because they can buy themselves a “treat” without feeling guilty. I also throw in a box of chocolates to have a present under the tree to open.
Janet Camilleri says
That’s a good idea Leanne. I think we are going for cash and 2 little things under the tree each.
Kez @ Awesomely Unprepared says
I am an adult child and my mum finds little ways to make me feel pampered – especially since I’m a mum now. Sometimes we’ve received cash towards something special that’s coming up – spending money for something like a trip away etc. Other times my mum has given me quirky earrings or special little bits of jewellery – nothing that breaks the bank but stuff that means something to us. We also sometimes get fun lifestyle stuff. Things we can use when camping or a hammock to relax in etc etc. I think it depends on your kids and what they would value most at that time! Maybe a nice little something to open under the tree, plus a voucher or some money to put towards something special? x
Janet Camilleri says
Yup I think that’s what we will be doing Kez, cash and a couple of small things so they have a gift to open :-). That way there’s not so much pressure to find the “perfect” gift.
Jo Tracey says
Santa still leaves presents in a Santa sack for our 19 year old. Having said that, he still leaves pressies for me too. We still buy gifts for her, but involve her in the process – so she has stuff to open.
Janet Camilleri says
We were the same until the last couple of years after Miss 21 moved out. Cash and a couple of small pressies will do the trick. I know when we did the Santa sack it always felt like we spent heaps and got lots, only for the hubster to look at the loot on Christmas Eve and worry that we’d been too scabby! So this will help solve that problem too LOL.
Maria says
I ask my daughter for a list and pick a few items. That way I know it’s something she wants. She hates cash.
Janet Camilleri says
Yes, it very much depends on your child Maria. If they don’t like/want cash, best to respect their wishes. Fortunately for me, mine love it! Cash and a couple of small pressies will do the trick this year I think