Following their engagement last year, Miss 22 and her man have started planning for their big day in May 2020.
Can it really be thirty years since her father and I were organising our own wedding?!
I’ve tried really hard to stay out of it – I don’t want to be a meddling mother of the bride! But the happy couple have turned to us for help, so recently we attended a wedding expo with them.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Weddings have changed A LOT over the past three decades!
How Weddings Have Changed in the Last 30 Years
Then: Wedding planning involved magazines and a note book. (The night that my Bear and I got engaged, we drove around all the late night convenience stores looking in vain for a bridal magazine!).
Now: I’ve got one word for you: Pinterest!
Then: The bridesmaids threw a shower tea – usually a kitchen shower – for the bride to help stock her new home with bits and pieces. It was also a chance for the bride’s female family and friends to mix and mingle with the groom’s mother and other female relatives. Refreshments centred around a good ol’ cuppa.
Now: Forget shower teas, it’s all about the hen’s party – a night on the town and an excuse to drink far too much alcohol. As a result it tends to be just the bride and her friends – many older female relatives (like me) happily bow out of this one!
Then: On her wedding day, the bride and her maids got ready at her parents’ home, or that of another close family member.
I must confess – when we bought this house last year I did have visions of our daughter walking down the stairs as a bride …
Now: Alas, that’s not how it’s done. These days the bride tends to stay in a luxurious hotel room somewhere close to the wedding venue, and that’s where all the primping and pampering is done.
On the upside – I guess it saves the already stressed mother and father of the bride from having to make sure their home is 100% tidy and photograph worthy for the big day!
Then: We had two vases of flowers at the front of the church, and called that “decorating”. Actually I tell a lie – we were very cutting edge – we placed white satin bows at the end of every pew.
Now: It’s all about the styling baby, and flowers are just the start. From tea lights to wine barrels, bunting to floral or balloon archways, everything must be perfect for photographs and social media.
Then: Our wedding was held in a church. I don’t have official stats, but it felt like most couples got married in a church back then.
Now: A decade or so ago, beach weddings were all the rage … but now it’s moved on to country or mountain settings.
Then: It was the late 80’s, a time when brides and their bridesmaids wore dresses that were big and blingy – think taffeta and satin, ruching and ruffles, lace appliques, crystals, pearls, diamantes, sequins, beads …
Now: Strapless wedding dresses have been hugely popular over the past few decades however we are finally starting to see some more variety. Today’s brides tend to choose figure hugging gowns, and lace is very popular.
Then: Back when I was a bride, I wasn’t a fan of fruit cake – and yet that’s what you had for your wedding cake, a traditional fruit cake coated with thick white royal icing. We were just starting to see the occasional croquembouche as an alternative.
Now: Anything goes – a spiral of cupcakes, chocolate mud cake, sponges lavished with butter cream, even a cheese cake (literally) where each layer is a different type of gourmet cheese. And they are rarely white! I’ve seen metallic cakes in copper and gold, bright blue, and every colour of the rainbow.
Can you think of any other changes to weddings that I haven’t covered (because I’m sure I’ve missed some!)?
Bec Senyard says
It certainly has changed! I got married before Pinterest (14 years this April!) and I’m glad I did because the cost of weddings these days to do all this and more must cost a huge amount! And the stress to have it looking social media worthy…. At the end of the day it’s one day and as long as the bride and groom get what they visualize and the day they want, which they can afford, then that’s what matters. Have you got or started shopping for your outfit for the wedding Janet?
Janet Camilleri says
Not yet! But now Miss 22 has her wedding dress, it’s the next priority!
Jo says
Oh I loved this! The then and now of it all. We were so much more traditional in our day, held tight by convention and now really anything goes, which is marvellous really. On of our young relatives had a wedding cheese – literally layers of cheese in the shape of a tiered cake, which was delish as a a dessert. Our son had a sponge wedding cake, large but very simple, light and tasty, and it all got eaten because most of us don’t like rich fruit cake with marzipan. I hope you are allowed a little involvement in your daughter’s wedding preparations – it’s such a special time – and yet, also it’s great that much of the pressure is taken off us Mums of the Bride these days!
Erica Hanwright says
The biggest change that I can see is the cost!!!
Janet Camilleri says
LOL yes, just a bit more $$$ involved than our wedding in 1990 …
LeAna Bui says
Oh, Janet! This is so true and so funny! I can’t tell you how many times I stuck my foot in my mouth when Kayla was planning her wedding! Pinterest is great, but OMGosh, it is so intimidating!
Enjoy your planning and keep saving those pennies!
Janet Camilleri says
I’m trying very hard not to be bossy 😉