This weekend we reached a major milestone in the Middle Aged Mama family – our youngest child turned 20.
Do you know what that means? We survived the teenage years!
We’ve been pretty lucky – our kids are basically “good” kids, and I think we got off fairly lightly, all things considered.
Even so, there were many storms along the way, which proved that the teenage years are the hardest. We’ve had to deal with things like:
- Wagging school;
- Shoplifting;
- Sneaking out to parties;
- Wearing too much makeup;
- Tattoos and piercings;
- Cyber bullying;
- Boyfriends and girlfriends;
- Spending too much time online;
- Drinking too much.
There were times when we worried, when we cried, when we didn’t know which way to turn, when our teenagers hated us. And yet … we made it. Not only did we, as parents, survive the teen years – but so did our kids!
And they have both turned out better than we ever expected.
Mr 22 has just completed the first year of a Commerce degree, working part-time to support himself. Although it took a while – including six months of unemployment – for him to figure out what he wanted to do career-wise, it is a joy (and a relief) to see him pursuing his dreams. He is extremely savvy in financial matters – for example, not many young people his age own such a nice car outright!
Miss 20 is now working as a legal secretary in the city, after a couple of years in the hospitality industry. She has been with the same boyfriend for most of the last four years and has already taken a massive step into adulthood, leaving the nest not long after she turned 18. Our girl has one of the softest, and most generous hearts, that I have ever known.
Their employers cannot speak highly enough of our kids, and their strong work ethics. We must have done something right along the way!
How did we survive the teenage years?
If I could pass only one tip on to other parents of teens, it is this: try to have a great relationship with your kids (of any age) and keep the lines of communication open.
It won’t prevent the problems that are part and parcel of raising teens, but it does make sure you still have a voice in your child’s life (even if it’s just a whisper).
And if you are looking for some help along the way, I found these two books (by Australian/New Zealand authors) really helpful:
- He’ll Be Okay: Growing Gorgeous Boys into Good Men by Celia Lashlie.
- What Teenage Girls Don’t Tell Their Parents by Michelle Mitchell.
If your family has survived the teenage years – what is your biggest tip for other parents?!
Linking up for Life This Week.
Jo Tracey says
Our daughter is 18 & somehow, so far (touch wood) we’ve got here without too much angst. Our relationship is good & open enough- while giving her the privacy she needs to work out who she is. Thankfully she still likes to spend time with us- & not just when we’re paying!
Janet Camilleri says
Isn’t it lovely when they actually enjoy their mama’s company?!
Kathy Marris says
Congratulations Janet – you’ve made it! It is a relief to get through the terrible teen years and see your kids established with study and careers. However from experience, sometimes they decide they want to change careers in their early twenties, so watch out for that one. There are some great books written by Stephen Biddulph called Raising Boys and Raising Girls which are both fabulous for parents.
Janet Camilleri says
Yes, I’ve read both of those too, they were excellent.
Ness says
I’ve got another one just coming up to the teenage years next March and an 8 year old. Still a long way to go! So far not too many dramas with the 15 yo. Well, besides his antipathy to all homework… Will definitely be looking into that first book.
Congratulations on a job well done! You must be so proud of them.
Janet Camilleri says
Thanks Ness, yup I sure am. To be honest the girl gave us a lot more headaches than the boy so you might be okay!
Sydney Shop Girl says
Congratulations and I hope that I’ll be able to one day write a post like this myself!
SSG xxx
Janet Camilleri says
I hope so too SSG!!!!
Denyse Whelan Blogs says
Well-done parents…and congrats to the kids for choosing your parents! Lovely post, Janet! Thanks for linking up. Denyse #lifethisweek
Janet Camilleri says
Yes, they must have been pretty clever kids to pick us hey? 😉
Shauna 'Round the Corner says
Congratulations! What a milestone. My post yesterday might frighten you a bit lol! Tread carefully. Hehe.
We’re still a few years away from the teenage years. Mine are 7 and 10 and boy oh boy do I see rough waters ahead! Lol! Our 10 year old, ‘though he has a beautiful heart, is just starting to assert himself . Our 7 year old girl has been doing it for years ! Ha! It’s a fine line we walk between trying to guide them whist not crushing their spirit. Holy cow, I’m feeling the need to arm myself with some sound advice. Think I will definitely look into getting hold of both of the books. Thanks for the tips Janet. 🙂
Kat @anaussieinsf says
I love that you have such nice things to say about your kids. Congratulations on the milestone!
Liz says
Congratulations xo